That is what Donny used to say early in our marriage. He would tease me by saying that whenever I would be serious about something that was bothering me. It was his way of getting me to smile and lighten up a little.
It took me a long time to figure out that was why he would say that. I would only see it as a selfish statement. Oh sure, I would laugh when he said it, but inside I would think that he didn't get it. He was married now and was a father. It couldn't be all about him!
He took his role as husband and father pretty seriously. He felt a responsibility to me and our girls. He had to provide for us and see that we were cared for. He did a good job of that, so much that as our years together accumulated I could see that his sense of responsibility weighed on him. I was the silly one making him smile or trying to cajole a smile from him. I would always see something good even when times were at their worst. (Hence the name of this blog...The Hopeful Romantic)
It was only in the last couple of years that I was able to see his intention. With a devilish glint in his eye and a grin on his face he was taking of me.
I was writing to him recently (something that I do regularly) when I told him that he would laugh at my attitude being all about him. Even though he is not physically here with me anymore I feel him all around me. A song on the radio that he especially liked...something I made for dinner that he would have really enjoyed...a blouse that he liked on my. It occurred to me that I am looking for him and that he is here in all of those ways and more. It seems that his is still taking care of me.
The Hopeful Romantic
No comments:
Post a Comment