Sometimes...

Sometimes I can be clear-headed and know that this is my life now...without Donny.
Sometimes I want him back so badly that I can't think of anything else.

Sometimes I go through my day with him tucked into my heart, not far from the forefront of my mind, but manage as if he would still be waiting for me when I got home.
Sometimes I have a hard time focusing on the task at hand.  Then, too, he is tucked into my heart and not far from the forefront of my mind.

Sometimes I can talk about him and smile, maybe even laugh.
Sometimes I can barely get a word out about him without tears streaming down my face.

Sometimes I grab a spoon to give him a taste of what I am cooking only to remember...no more tastes for him.
Sometimes I eat at the sink and think of how he would laugh if he were here to see me without proper utensils, a plate and maybe even a napkin.  (I would always laughingly tell him when he would bring napkins to the already set table, "I have sleeves.")

Sometimes I can find joy in some of the little things of my day.
Sometimes my heart feels so heavy.  Really.

Sometimes I get scared that I will cry in public, by myself, with no one there to shield me.
Sometimes I remember one of the things he told me he loved most about me was my confidence.  Those times I stand a little straighter, walk with more determination, all while wearing his love and letting it be my shield.

Sometimes I think we didn't have nearly enough time together and I am sad.
Sometimes I am glad for all the time we did have together and I smile at the memories.

Sometimes I write letters to him to share my day.
Sometimes I write posts here to tell you about this man I love.

Sometimes is not a word for how I love him.  That  is a constant.

The Hopeful Romantic